It’s 1 in the morning on the West Coast, and I’m sitting in a quaint little hotel room next to my sleeping daughter, with my husband snoring away on the other queen. That’s the traveling setup these days: Mama & Millie get to snuggle, and Dad doesn’t have to fit 73 inches of human onto 6 inches of bed.
When I’m at home, after bedtime routines, prepping breakfasts, evening chores, and rocking my baby to sleep, I get some me time. The house is quiet, no one needs me, and I can eat a snack without sharing it. That’s the nature of motherhood, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
Tonight, in a neighboring state, I’m sticking to my normal itinerary. Me Time, Vacation Edition. It comes rather naturally to me. I’m a night dweller from all my years behind the bar, and honestly, this might be my most productive time of day.
We’re in Oregon for a wedding. My husband’s best friend is also named Brad. Other Brad was my Brad’s best man, and now my Brad is Other Brad’s best man. I’m here in a supporting-character role. Taking care of the baby and designated driving.
It’s nice, honestly, to be in the background a little bit. Something about me: I love to be alone. Now that I’m a mom, I still count it as “alone time” when she’s with me. We are still one.
Yesterday we went to the beach, complete with its own hole-in-the-wall cafe. We ate clam chowder and it was, as I'm sure you can guess, some of the best I've ever had. The beach was cold and windy and overcast and ethereal. I’ve been noticing that a lot more lately, how beautiful life is.
I’m sure you’ve heard the sentiment that parenthood makes you woefully aware of the passing of time. Consequently, each day I wake up to find myself still in this beautiful life, I just think, wow... that’s amazing.
This perspective shift has been profound for me. Some call it “living with gratitude.” But it’s more like... living in awe.
I brought my camera. I wasn’t shooting a campaign. There were no models and no shot lists. Just the coast, my adventurous daughter, and her daddy.
I only shot for about ten minutes before I handed the camera over to Brad. Millie and I danced in the wet sand and ran from the rising waves. She giggled so much. She is truly a water baby, just like Mom. It makes her so happy and peaceful.
So that’s it. That’s what I wanted to write about: actively documenting the “awe” and pulling out the camera just for me. It’s important to do. Remembering my own life has some photographic appeal as well.
My favorite shot? My tiny baby girl standing before the endless sea, staring out toward the horizon.
The contrast of her small little being and the gigantic vastness of the ocean.
It really is you against the world, little one. But I’ll always be nearby, taking photos.
Like I said, no one reads blogs anymore...
I guess except for you!
